Of Peanuts and Pumpkins

Charlie gave himself the once over in the mirror before leaving the men’s room to return to the club. He checked his hair, his clothing, his smile and his zipper, and then concluded that everything appeared to be in order – as reasonably in order as they were going to get, anyway.

On his way to his previous perch, he noted two women sitting at the corner of the bar; one with short reddish hair and the other with not quite so short blonde hair. As he passed by, he and the red-haired woman made eye contact. Ever so briefly, but eye contact just the same.

Charlie asked himself under his breath, “Did she smile at me?” Charlie had arrived at Planet Gemini late that night and had missed the first of two comedians that came on before the band. Dressed in a Halloween costume loosely resembling a certain cartoon character, the second comedian was in mid-act already. Toward the end of his routine, the comedian started talking about men not wanting to ask ugly girls to dance. Imitating a woman complaining about this, he joked, “You men just want those pretty girls. Why don’t you look for inner beauty instead of just long legs and big boobs? Look at me! Can’t you see that there’s a really beautiful person inside of me? Never mind that I’m fifty pounds overweight and wear glasses.” Then he turned the argument around and looked at it from a man’s perspective, “Yeah? Well, how about if you girls try to remember that the next time some really geeky guy comes up and asks you to dance?”

Charlie muttered to no one but himself, “Amen,” as he laughed at the personal reality of the comment.

“Someone like…” the comedian scanned the room. “Someone like… like that short, fat, bald guy sitting at the bar!” pointing his finger directly at Charlie.

“Thanks a lot, pal,” Charlie muttered while turning three shades of red. “And I thought you were funny. The only thing that’s funny about you is that ridiculous Halloween costume you’re wearing. Where in real life would you find an idiot wearing plaid shorts and a striped knit shirt?” Having said that, Charlie suddenly realized that, for his entire working life, he had dressed in an outfit almost exactly like that – black shorts, yellow knit shirt with a zig-zag stripe across the bottom, and brown shoes with yellow socks. Every single day. The same friggin’ outfit. That thought raised a note of suspicion in Charlie’s mind about the true nature of the comedian’s costume.

Charlie sulked as the comedian finished his routine.

Soon, the disco started and couples, some of whom were dressed in rather fantastic Halloween costumes, swarmed onto the dance floor. Charlie turned his attention to the red-haired woman he had passed on the way back from the men’s room. As he studied her from across the bar, he realized that she bore an uncanny resemblance to another little red-haired girl he once knew. Once knew? Ha! He had a crush on her for years. Crush? Double-ha! He had been madly in love with her for as long as he could remember. Unfortunately, he never had the courage to say anything to her, so the relationship never went anywhere. In fact, there had never been any relationship to go anywhere.

It was a consistent pattern, and one Charlie had never been able to break. There had been so many times when he just wanted to go up to her in the school yard and, maybe, sit down next to her at lunch time. Or carry her books home from school. Or take her to the drive-in movie on Friday night.

Unfortunately, Charlie, a.k.a. “Gutless Wonder,” had never found the intestinal fortitude to even approach her. She was so pretty. And he was so… well, he was… Charlie. And, that about says it all.

But, Charlie was older now. A little more experienced. A little less proud; every last ounce of pride having been beaten out of him by the rigors of adult life. Plus, he was presently somewhat emboldened by two double shots of Jack Daniels.

Charlie looked more closely at the redhead at the end of the bar. “God! She looks just like her,” he whispered under his breath.

Charlie looked around the room. The dance floor was crowded. The music was wailing. Everyone was having a good time. “By God! I’m gonna try it. If she turns me down, she turns me down. It won’t be the first time. On the contrary. Why, I’ll just walk up to her and… and… I’ll just walk up to her and… and…”

“Would you like to dance?” The redhead’s smile illuminated the room as she awaited Charlie’s response. Charlie’s heart fairly leaped, partially in relief at having been spared the potential of rejection, and partially in delight at her having taken the initiative.

“Why… yes… I’d love to,” he stuttered.

She towed him by the hand to the dance floor, which was only a dozen or so feet away and they began to dance to the semi-oldies rock and roll music. She moved with an effortless fluidity, while Charlie faked his way with the same stale, uncreative, semi-motionless shuffle he had done ever since high school.

“She’s a brick… house… she’s mighty, mighty…ooh, let it all hang out…”

The little red-haired girl’s face was awash with a brilliant smile that spread from ear to shining ear. She literally glowed. Her grin was electric. She was an expression in pure joy. Charlie felt himself compelled to smile in response, if not even involuntarily.

“What’s your name?” he shouted over the din of the music as he leaned closer to her ear.

“Jamie,” she shouted back, her radiant smile never diminishing.

“Hi, Jamie. I’m Charlie.” They shook hands and Charlie noticed what a nice, firm grip she had.

They danced two more songs. Jamie exuded joy and peace through her face and the freedom of life and movement in her dancing. She maintained near constant eye contact with Charlie as they danced.

“Your smile is contagious,” Charlie shouted. “Does it ever go away?”

“No. Never.” And she continued to smile.

“Fantastic!” Charlie began to feel a strange familiarity about this woman.

At the end of a third dance, she clutched Charlie’s arm and said, “Thank you for dancing with me. No one ever asks me to dance.”

“Really?” Charlie’s jaw fell. “Why not? You’re a great dancer.”

He walked her back to the end of the bar where she introduced him to her blonde-haired friend Patty who sat milking a glass of Peppermint Schnapps. Patty just nodded without raising her head, saying only, “Hey,Chuck.” She stirred her drink with a straw with which she then produced that rudesucking, bubbly sound that signals the fact that it’s time to order another drink.

The three of them talked and joked and drank. Jamie told Charlie that she was a nurse at a local community hospital. She worked the day shift from seven to three. Her friend worked the night shift. The ladies were expecting some of their “male counterparts,” presumably male nurses, to join them as soon as they finished their shifts at the hospital.

“Play that funky music, white boy… play that funky music now…”

After a while, they danced again. Charlie watched Jamie’s face and her body constantly; his eyes being continually drawn back to that irresistible, ever so engaging smile. “Ooh! I like this little red-haired girl,” he thought.

Then Jamie asked him the inevitable qualifying/disqualifying question: “So, Charlie, what do you do for a living?”

“I’m retired now. I used to be an animated character in a comic strip. Perhaps you’ve seen some of my work. ‘Peanuts?’”

Jamie stopped dancing and stood stunned as Charlie’s anxiety level skyrocketed. For the first time all evening, the smile faded from her face. Not just faded. It disappeared altogether. “Charlie… Brown? You’re that Charlie Brown?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so,” he answered, that old feeling of imminent rejection rolling over him like a thick Monterey fog.

The two of them stood still, among wildly flailing dancers, staring at each other in the middle of the dance floor, not speaking, not moving, Charlie drowning in dread, Jamie drowning in…in… Charlie didn’t know what she was drowning in, and that was the whole problem. He didn’t know what was going on in her mind right at that moment, and his mind imagined only unfavorable outcomes.

“Charlie Brown, don’t you recognize me?” The sweet, pleasant, and comfortable smile reappeared on her face. “I’m the little red-haired girl. You’ve known me all your life.”

Charlie Brown stood in numbed silence on the dance floor. Whatever courage he had been able to muster up to that point immediately fled him, and he once again reverted to the shy, insecure little boy who had been so madly in love with this woman when she was a little girl, but so afraid to do anything about it.

“The little… red-haired girl?” he whispered meekly.

“You know you make me want to shout! Come on now. Shout!”

“Yes, Charlie. The one and only.”

“I… I… I never realized you actually had… a name.”

“Well, I do. And now you know it.” As she clutched Charlie’s arm and led him from the dance floor, Jamie, née the little red-haired girl, leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Charlie fairly swooned. His heart pounded. He thought he might faint.

As they talked, Jamie stood very close to Charlie and her fingers played with the little tuft of hair on his forehead, which was about all the hair Charlie Brown had.

Just as things were beginning to go well for Charlie Brown, Jamie’s friends from work arrived. One of them swept her immediately back onto the dance floor, where they remained for quite some time.

Apparently, sensing that there was something brewing between Charlie and Jamie, Patty momentarily stopped nursing yet another Peppermint Schnapps and said, “He’s only a friend from work.”

When Jamie and her friend returned from the dance floor, the whole gang of co-workers, including Jamie, moved to the billiards room. Charlie remained by himself at the bar for a while, then he noticed that it was almost one o’clock in the morning. He thought he should leave, but he didn’t know what to do about the little red-haired girl. He knew that if he couldn’t work up enough courage to ask to see her again, she might be lost to him forever. Not seeing her again, after being given another extraordinary chance like this, would be an unacceptable outcome. Summoning every ounce of uncharacteristic boldness, he retrieved a business card from his pocket and wrote his home phone number on it. He walked into the room where they all were playing pool. He watched as Jamie cued the ball and then missed her shot… badly. Now that she was free, he told her he was going home and he handed her his card.

“May I… uh… may I… call you sometime?” he squeaked. “Do you ever go out?”

“Rarely,” she answered, her response not being specifically affirmative, but not completely shutting the door either.

“Rarely? But sometimes?” he pressed.

Then her smile reappeared. “Yeah, sometimes.”

“Great! May I have your phone number?”

“Why Charlie Brown, you’ve become so bold in your old age.”

Smiling, Charlie extracted another business card from his pocket and began to write her name and number on it.

“That’s ‘Jamie’ with an ‘ie’,” she told him. “Last name, ‘Daniels,’ like the Tennessee Sour Mash.”

“My favorite” he responded with a broad grin.

Charlie Brown was greatly relieved to see that her phone number did not begin with “555.” He also hoped that the one she was giving him was not the direct number to the YMCA or the local Pizza Hut.

“Outstanding!” Charlie exclaimed enthusiastically. “I’ll call you.”

Jamie Daniels, the little red-haired girl, flashed that million-watt smile at Charlie Brown and made his little heart jump right out of his chest.

<<>>

The next day, Charlie Brown loaded his mountain bike into the back of his pickup and drove down to Pacific Grove to tour Seventeen Mile Drive. Only a mile into the course, Charlie drove through the scattered remains of a pumpkin that had been smashed on the street. The slickness of the mess caused his tires to slide out from under him and Charlie took a header over the handlebars.

Some time later, when he had regained consciousness, his head hurt like the dickens and his chin, elbows, and knees were skinned and bleeding. Fortunately, Charlie had the foresight to wear his bicycle helmet, which protected his bulbous head from further injury. He stood stiffly and retrieved his bike from the nearby lawn. Amazingly, as opposed to Charlie’s condition, the bike was relatively unscathed. One of the handlebar grips hadsustained minor damage and the seat had a small tear in it. Otherwise, the bicycle was still fully operational.

Not that Charlie could say the same for himself.

Remembering that he was only a couple of miles from the community hospital, Charlie mounted his bike and peddled slowly off in that direction, thinking he should get himself checked out… just to be safe, you know.

Arriving at the emergency room entrance, Charlie locked his bike to a wooden bench near the front door. He went inside and checked himself in and, in just a few minutes, was whisked to an observation room, which was separated from the other observation rooms by nothing more than a thin curtain.

He had sat on the examination table for quite some time when,suddenly, the curtain was pulled back, and standing there in an official nurse’s uniform, complete with crepe-soled white shoes, was none other than Jamie Daniels, R.N. He could have recognized that smile anywhere.

“Charlie Brown! What have you done to yourself, young man?” she asked in a mock stern-mother tone.

“Oh, I slipped in a little pumpkin pudding on the street while riding my bike and skinned myself up a bit.”

“Let’s take a look. First, of course, you’ll have to strip down to your G-string and put this backless hospital gown on so we can all see your naked butt.”

“I beg your pardon?”

As poor Charlie blushed, Jamie grinned. “Relax, Charlie. I’m just pulling your old hairy leg. The doctor will be in to check on you in a few minutes. But first, I need to check your vitals.”

She took his temperature and his blood pressure. She held his wrist while she checked his pulse. Of course, the fact that the little red-haired girl was holding his wrist made Charlie Brown’s pulse fairly race. Then she took a sponge and, with a mother’s gentle touch, began to clean the blood from his face and knees and elbows.

Perhaps Charlie Brown hadn’t exactly died, but clearly he was in Heaven.

As Jamie worked, Charlie watched her eyes. They were wizened eyes, experienced of life. Eyes that had seen great pain and tragedy, that of others and perhaps of her own. There was a sadness, a sincerity, a nurturing character to them. Through these eyes, Charlie could see that this was a woman with a strong constitution, a woman of real substance.

He thought about the abandon with which she had danced the night before. He could imagine that she might have been through some hellacious tragic intensities at the hospital that day. Perhaps after that, she had needed to bust out and enjoy life, to release some tension, to revel in and celebrate the joy and the miracle of life.

“Whaddaya think, Doc? Am I gonna live?”

“I can’t tell forsure,” she replied. “But then, that’s for the doctor to decide. He’ll be here in a minute.” With that she exited with a wink.

After the doctor had examined Charlie Brown and assured him that he would, in fact, live to fight again, Jamie reappeared.

“Hey! It’s three o’clock,” Charlie said with a smile in his voice. “As I recall, this should be the end of your shift.”

“That’s right,” she said, leafing through the papers on her clipboard. “I’m leaving right now, as soon as I get you checked out of here.”

“Then what?”

“Then what? Then nothing.”

“Can I offer you a lift home?”

“A lift? Do you mean on your bicycle?”

“Sure. Why not? My truck is parked not far from here. You can ride in the front seat after we get there.”

“The front seat? Do you mean, as opposed to the bed?”

“No. I mean, as opposed to my handlebars.”

“Oh. Well, okay,” flashing that ever-present electric smile, “But only if you promise not to crash again.”

“So long as we can avoid smashed pumpkins in the road,” he assured her.

Charlie unlocked his bike and mounted it, holding it steady as Jamie climbed onto the handlebars. She put her arm around Charlie’s neck while she positioned herself. He inhaled the feminine scent of her skin and literally floated away. Charlie shakily negotiated the traffic circle in front of the emergency room, circling a gigantic, sprawling Monterey Pine in the center of the area. Then they headed down the hill, back to the entrance to Seventeen Mile Drive where Charlie’s truck was parked.

After loading his bike in the back of the truck, he opened the passenger side door for her. “Jamie?” Charlie said, his voice quivering a little. “May I ask you to do something very special for me? Something that means a great deal to me?”

“Sure, Charlie. What is it?”

“Well, as you know, tonight is Halloween. Every year at this time, the Great Pumpkin visits the pumpkin patches and bestows his blessings on the most sincere person he finds sitting in a pumpkin patch.”

“And what is the favor?”

“Will you sit in the pumpkin patch with me tonight?”

Jamie studied Charlie’s face for a minute before answering. “Let me get this straight. You want me to sit in a pumpkin patch with you all night long in hopes that the Great Pumpkin will deem you the most sincere and will bestow his blessings on you? Do I have that right?”

“Yes, that’s right. Will you do it? It would mean a great deal to me.”

“I thought sitting in the pumpkin patch was Linus’ thing?”

“Yes, that’s right too. But I have a special blessing I want from the Great Pumpkin, and he won’t do it unless I spend the night in the pumpkin patch.” Charlie touched Jamie’s arm. “So, will you do it?”

“Sure, Charlie. Why not?”

Charlie Brown’s heart exploded.

“Great! We’ll have to run by my house and pick up my dog, Cowboy.”

“Cowboy?” she asked. “I thought Snoopy was your dog.”

“Well, he was, but about ten years ago, Snoopy ran off with a French Poodle and we haven’t heard from him since. The rumor is that he’s living over a bar in Tijuana.”

“And the French Poodle?”

“Gone.”

<<>>

After a brief stop at Jamie’s house so she could change clothes, they climbed back into Charlie’s truck and headed to his house where they picked up Cowboy, two wine glasses and a corkscrew.

“Forgive me for saying so, Charlie, but your dog stinks.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” Charlie explained. “I call him ‘Stink Dog.’ There’s a skunk that comes to visit him every night and eats his food. Cowboy gets sprayed several times a week. No matter how many baths I give him, I still can’t completely get that stink out of him. You’ll get used to it after a while.”

“I hope so,” she said and rolled down her window.

Charlie stopped at Nob Hill Foods where he purchased two bottles of Clos Du Bois Sonoma County Chardonnay. Then he swung through Mickey D’s and bought the little red-haired girl asumptuous dinner. She ordered a number six combo and he had the number four. They ate in the truck on the way to the pumpkin patch. Cowboy drooled on Jamie’s shoulder and sniffed at her hamburger while she ate.

<<>>

Charlie drove north up Highway One until they were just past Watsonville, where he found a large pumpkin patch nestled amid the artichoke and strawberry fields.

“Here we are,” he proclaimed. “Perfect timing too. It’s just getting dark. Now we have to find just the right place to sit.”

They wandered around the patch for a good while until Charlie was satisfied that he had found exactly the right place to sit and await the arrival of the Great Pumpkin.

“Look all around,” Charlie waved his arms across the horizon. “Not a sign of hypocrisy. Sincerity abounds.”

Charlie pulled up two giant-sized pumpkins for them to sit on. “Please. Sit here. Make yourself comfortable.” She beamed at him again.

Charlie opened a bottle of wine and poured a glass for each of them. Stink Dog took off across the adjacent artichoke field to chase rabbits or poodles or whatever he could find.

Wanting desperately to say something to her, Charlie Brown only stared at the ground. Finally, he dug down deep and found courage enough to be as bold as the milquetoast personality of his cartoon character would allow. Then he forced himself to go beyond these limitations. “What the hell? That personality was only a figment of the imagination of a cartoonist. It had nothing to do with the real me.” He thought back to the comments of the comedian from last night about seeing that beautiful inner person. “By God! There is one in there. I know there must be one in there.”

Charlie raised his glass of Chardonnay to propose a toast.

“Little red-hair… er… excuse me, Jamie, I have a confession to make.”

Jamie turned to look at Charlie, “Yes?”

“I… I… I don’t know quite how to say this, and I’m not very good at this sort of thing anyway, but… but… well, what I’m trying to say is,” and then he blurted it out. “I have been in love with you all my life.” Having finally said it, the pressure was off and Charlie began to feel more confident. “Now, I can’t believe my good fortune at having you here with me to sit in this pumpkin patch. Surely the Great Pumpkin will honor this and will see, after all these years, that we are the most sincere, and he will surely bless us.”

Jamie looked into Charlie’s eyes, smiled tenderly, and leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. Charlie caught himself just before he fell off his pumpkin.

“Cheers,” she toasted and they clinked their glasses.

“Why did you never ask me out, Charlie?”

“I… I… I was afraid to. I was afraid you would turn me down.”

“Oh Charlie,” she smiled. “You crazy fool. I would have married you in the third grade, had you asked me.”

“Huh? You mean you wouldn’t have turned me down?”

“No Charlie, I wouldn’t have turned you down. On the contrary.”

“On the contrary?”

“Charlie, if you promise you won’t fall off your pumpkin again, I have a little confession to make to you too.”

“A confession?”

“Yes, a confession.” She took Charlie’s wine glass from his hand and sat it and her own on the ground at their feet. Then she clasped both of Charlie’s hands in her own and pulled him close to her. “Charlie Brown, I have been in love with you since we were children.”

Charlie sat stunned for a second and then leaped to his feet. “No! I can’t believe it. All these years. And I never knew. I can’t believe it.”

“It’s true.”

“Oh my God.”

Charlie slowly sat back down on his pumpkin and looked into Jamie’s eyes. Their faces tilted toward each other. As their lips gently touched, Jamie’s eyes closed, but Charlie Brown’s widened even further. His heart raced. His arms shook at his side. After a moment, Jamie opened her eyes and leaned back. She smiled tenderly at Charlie Brown.

“Jamie, I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to know that.” Then Charlie Brown paused for a minute to think about that. “And, at the same time, very sad to think that we wasted all these years not being together.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “But then, that’s the way life is, isn’t it, Charlie?”

“I suppose so.”

They sat pensively for a few minutes, neither of them speaking, both of them thinking about what had been said, and what had been done, and what might have been.

“So, where have you been all these years, Jamie?”

“Well, when you and Lucy got married after high school, I ran off with Linus and lived with him in Santa Cruz for a while. Then he got heavy into the Santa Cruzdrug and hippie scene and I had to split. Besides I just got tired of that stupid blanket of his. I couldn’t deal with it. So, I went off to nursing school and got my R.N., and that brings us up to today.”

“Linus?” Charlie asked incredulously.

“Yes, Charlie. After you married Lucy, I was so hurt and disappointed, I had to get away. I just hopped the first freight train that happened by. That was Linus, as it turned out.”

“Linus… I can’t believe it,” Charlie remarked. “Well, I shouldn’t talk. My marriage to Lucy was a nightmare from day one. After fifteen years of her bullying and abuse, I finally worked up the courage to leave her. I’ve been on my own ever since.”

“Just tell me one thing, Charlie.”

“What’s that?”

“You know how every Fall when football season comes around, Lucy always pulls that same old trick on you where she holds the football for you so you can kick it, and just when you try to kick it, she pulls it away, and you go flying and land flat on your back?”

“Yes, I seem to recall that.”

“Did she ever let you kick that football, Charlie Brown?”

“Not once.”

“And now I have one more question for you, Charlie.”

“What’s that, Jamie?”

“Why did you keep falling for that same old trick year after year?”

“I always thought that each year would be the year.”

“And it never was, was it?”

“No, sadly, it never was.”

“And now we’re sitting out here in this pumpkin patch in the middle of the night, drinking wine, waiting for the Great Pumpkin to arrive.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“In all these years, has the Great Pumpkin ever come? Even once?”

“Not once.”

“But he’s going to come this year, is that right?”

“Absolutely.”

The little red-haired girl smiled in a kind of amused admiration of Charlie Brown’s perseverance and unflappable optimism.

“So, what happened to Lucy?”

“She ran off with Schroeder. He’s a concert pianist on tour inEurope.”

The little red-haired girl sidled up close to Charlie Brown and put her arm around him. She kissed him on the cheek and hugged his neck. They looked at each other and smiled.

“At least Pig-Pen came out all right,” Charlie commented.

“Really? What’s he doing?”

“He owns the Bath and Body Works boutique at Northridge Mall in Salinas.”

Throughout the night they sat. Just the two of them. All alone there in the middle of that lonesome pumpkin patch between the artichoke and strawberry fields. From time to time, Cowboy would return to check in with them, and then he would be off on another adventure.

Unseen by either of them, the silhouette of what might have been a doghouse floated across the moon. Sitting on this doghouse was a strange figure that might have been a beagle wearing a leather helmet and sporting a long scarf about his neck. What might have been smoke billowed out of the tail of this doghouse and a strangely familiar voice, much like that of a famous World War I flying ace, might have been heard swearing, “Curse you, Red Baron!”

“Did you hear something?” Charlie asked.

“No, nothing,” she whispered.

The temperature dropped, as it does at that time of the year. Charlie went to the truck and returned with a blanket, which he wrapped around the two of them. The moon came up, the wine went down, and the love that each of them had held hidden in their hearts all their lives began to bloom.

“Just look. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see.”

As thesun began to rise on the horizon, a revelation came to Charlie Brown. After a lifetime of waiting in proverbial pumpkin patches all by himself, faithfully awaiting the arrival of the Great Pumpkin, confident that each year he, Charlie Brown, would be judged the most sincere, after all these years of failure and disappointment and unrealized expectations, after all these years of never giving up, it had finally happened.

Quite clearly, the Great Pumpkin had come and had judged Charlie Brown the most sincere and had showered his blessings upon him. For, sitting right there next to him, in the middle of the pumpkin patch, sound asleep, snuggled tightly up against his body, wrapped in his blanket, wearing a peaceful, contented smile on her face was Charlie Brown’s sweet little red-haired girl, whom he had loved all these years. And now he knew that she too loved him.

“Life is funny,” Charlie Brown whispered to no one but himself. “And kind of sad. And nice at the same time.”

THE END

© 1996 Stephen D. Griffitts